NGOSIBA LUKA-REV MKHEKHELEZI
NGIBINGELELE AmaBhakajuju ngokukhethekileyo, Amen Magebhula. Ngithi qina Ndod’ Emnyama, kuyobuye kulunge – vele wena uphethe inkomishi yeMTN 8 ngesandla – bese ngibongela iRichards Bay FC yangakithi ngokudlulela kwi-semi final yeCarling Black Label Knockout. Kulungile nje weBay, qhubeka nokuzenza upelepele wezinyoni emidlalweni yezinkomishi, kodwa izembe lilokhu likulunguzile njengoba emidlalweni yeligi udlala sengathi kawuthandi.
Ngifikelwe wukudabuka manje ekuseni ngizishayelwa wumoya ngigudla ulwandle eThekwini ngesikhathi ngidlula ngakuleli hhotela okuthiwa yiGooderson Tropicana, ngibona abalandeli be-Orlando Pirates ubuhlungu bubhalwe emehlweni.
Ngibone enye insizwa ebincike ngesihlahla sesundu, ikude ngemicabango, ubona nje ukuthi iminjunju yokuhlulwa yiBay ngamaphenathi kuba wu-5-4 eMoses Mabhida Stadium izolo, kayiphelile yize bekucaca ukuthi ike yazama ukuyiqeda ngezinyembezi zikakhwini. Zolo lokhu, ezimnyama beziseSpain zithi ziyocosha ulwazi lokucoboshisa kwasani kwiDStv Premiership, ewu, hhayi, kusho ukuthi eSpain bazinike ikhubalo eli-wrong.
Nginesiqiniseko nje sokuthi leya nsizwa engiyibonile, ibikhumbula amagoli ka-3-1 iBucs eyashaya ngawo i-Independiente del Valle yase-Ecuador, ngesikhathi ivakashele eSpain. Ibisho nje ngenhliziyo ukuthi ukube la magoli “siwashaye kwiBay, ngabe siya kwi-semi final“.
Ake nitshele mina ngitshele abelungu maBhakaniya, kanti kwakuyokwenziwani eSpain? Kwakupepenyekwa noma kwakuyocoshwa ulwazi olwenza oBarcelona noReal Madrid babe yizinkunzi zomhlaba? Kuyacaca ukuthi lo mkhuhlane ohlasele iKaizer Chiefs usuphenduke i-pandemic yaseSoweto. Ningabuzi-ke ibhasi ibhaliwe ziMpofana ukuthi nina ningenaphi ekushayweni kwePirates, phela iBucs inguyise weMpofana, manje kungenzeka ukuthi umkhuhlane usekhaya. Kwakufanele ngesikhathi iChiefs iqala ukudunguzela – isaqeqeshwa nguSteve “Mphathi” Komphela – iBucs njengobaba okhathalele ingane yakhe, iyithumele kwi-quarantine, manje abalandeli bayo (iBucs) balibala wukuyihleka. Akahlekwa umuntu egula bakwethu, noma ngabe kuthiwa umnyanya kanjani, kuvele kwenzeke le nto okuthiwa yi-karma – izinduku zibuye ngomhleki. Kungcono neMpofana ngoba kayimoshanga mali iwela izilwandle, yahamba yayozilungiselela ukuqala kweligi la kwamakhelwane, eBotswana.
Mina ngibona ukuthi kufanele amaqembu ethu uma elungiselela ukuqala kwesizini, ahambe ayozivivinya ngoGor Mahia, Asante Kotoko, Raja Casablanca, Al Ahly noCosta do Sol, vele yiwona maqembu esingathuka sihlangana nawo emiqhudelwaneni yase-Afrika, hhayi ukugqanqula o-2.5 Astronomical Units (381.6) million km) uthi uyofuna ulwazi le kwiMars ubuye uzothola isimbamba la ekhaya, ushaywa ngabantu abangakaze “bawine” ngisho i-draw selokhu kuqale isizini.
Mhlawumbe futhi njengoba umphathi weBucs, u-Irvine Khoza, ongusihlalo wePSL – ngike ngizwe kuthiwa unolayini abasheshayo – makafune abaxhasi abazokweseka inkomishi efuze i-Iwisa Spactacular Cup.
Ngibona ukuthi yilapho amaqembu – yize esuke emane – akwazi khona ukubona ukuthi azobhekana kanjani nezimbangi zawo, le yoSpain, oMars noGliese 581h, sesingayibona umuntu esegcwalisela nje. Phela ngeke uyotadisha iMaths ube uzobhala iHistory, full stop. Sibongele namaZulu FC ngokudlulela kwi-semi final yeCarling ngokuhlula omkhaya balo, iLamontville Golden Arrows. Ningadikibali Bafana Bes’thende, akulahlwa mbeleko ngakufelwa, futhi-ke akuvelwa kanyekanye kungemadlebe empongolo.
Hikhensile ngopfu ma-Afrika!
Le ngosi iyi-satire, ilungele bonke abantu, ikakhulukazi labo abasene-sense of humour.
