NGOSIBA LUKA-REV MKHEKHELEZI
ZISHAYISA ngovalo izinto ezenzeka kuleli lizwe abelungu abaliqamba bathi yiRepublic of South Africa, thina satolika sathi yiNingizimu Afrika. Kwakhona nje ukuqanjelwa izwe lenu ngabanye abantu, kukhomba isiququmadevu senkinga enga-nge-truck.
Indaba-ke bakwethu egcwele cishe lonke iGoli, ngethi ingxabano phakathi kosomabhizinisi abangamaPakistani nabangamaBangladeshi – abahweba kuleli – iholele ekutheni ababili basePakistan bampimpe imboni ekhiqiza ukudla okuwumbombayi eSwaneville, eGoli.
Kuthiwa le mboni ikhiqiza ubhontshisi osemathinini. Izimambana lezi ziwufaka emakanini abhalwe ukuthi KOO, uthenge-ke nawe kanti uthenga OOK! Akukapheli zinsuku zingaki kusabalale udaba lwezingane ezidle amakhekhe eziwathenge e-tuck shop ye-international (owokufika) – khona belu eGoli – emuva kwalokho zaphangalala.
Inkinga enkulu wukuthi la ma-tuck shop ama-international agcwele emalokishini, izikhulu zikahulumeni kazithengi kuwona, yingakho nje zingenandaba.
Kuye kuthi-ke uma umphakathi ususukuma, kube yizo kuqala izikhulu zikahulumeni ezilokhu ziwuhebeza sengathi yiphara likhuza i-pitbull isilibambe ngebhulukwe. Akusekude ukuthi thina ba-ntu baseNingizimu Afrika siphenduke imikhovu yama-international, ngoba sidla yonke into le ayidayisayo, singazi nokuthi ibiphekwa kuliphi ixhiba.
Kumele sizisole thina kodwa ngoba iningi lama-tuck shop aphethwe ngabokufika, bawaqashiselwe yithina ngoba iningi lethu kalizwani nokusebenza, lifuna ukuthola imali liqhiphotheke kosofa.
Khona ukuthi ube nesiqeshana sengadi kabhilinjolo, eka-green pepper notamatisi egcekeni lakwakho, kwake kwabulala bani njengoba nina emagcekeni enu kumile ubabe, yiklabeklabe nokhula olungange-Amazon Rainforest?
Uthenga ngisho into ongakwazi ukuzitshalela yona, uyithenga kubo laba abasuka le emakubo bazoxabana emizini yabantu baze bampimpane! Kawazi noma le nto ifakwe iwozawoza, okuthi uma ucabanga ukuthenga nje – noma ngabe ufuna imoto – uqala kule tuck shop ye-international, ubuze: “Heyi my friend, iyadayisa i-Isuzu la?”
Sekukaningi izindaba zempahla ewumbombayi zivela, kodwa uhulumeni uvele uthule sengathi ukhonjwe ngesibhamu. Ake ungqongqoshe wezoku-thuthukiswa komnotho, owezempilo nowezohwebo – naye-ke uBheki Cele usengangena yize nje silwazi udumo lwakhe lokwehluleka – bake bayilungise le nto yama-tuck shop abokufika.
Nathi bantu bakithi, ukugwema le nto, ama-tuck shop mawabuyele kithi, kodwa siyeke le nto yokukala i-price yempahla esiyidayisayo ngelukuluku lokufuna ukuthenga imoto.
Ufice ubacikile uwu-R2, uhlale uze ube yisitaxu, usushiswe yilanga. Bese nilokhu nikhala nithi yingakho niqashisela abokufika ama-tuck shop enu, kasinisaphothi. Uyisaphotha kanjani inja eluma wena? Phela ngeke sithenge izinkwa ngo-R20 egameni lokuthi sisaphotha nina.
Ningangizwa-ke ngezindlebe ezibuthuntu, kanginankinga nabokufika – kwazise mina msalofu, ngingumzukulu weShangane, elafika kuleli lizwe lisuka eMozamique ngenxa yokuba yinsephe kwi-high jump, leqa umngcele ngokungemthetho.
# Le gosi iyi-satire
Hikhensile ngopfu ma-Afrika!
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