I-Afrika iyobumbana ngo-20 leventeen uma sisasizakala ngosizi lomunye umuntu omnyama

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    NGOSIBA LUKA: REV MKHEKHELEZI

    KUNENSIZWA engake ngathi ngikhuluma nayo ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, ngibabaza inkulumo yomunye umbhemu owayehhema ngo-higher grade, yasho ngesiNgisi yathi: “My brother, we are so unfortunate that in South Africa we have an oversupply of fools.  Okungatolikeka ngokuthi: “Mfowethu, si-neshwa lokuthi eNingizimu Afrika sinenku-mbula ‘yomkhiqizo’ wezidwanyampuphu.” 

    Lokhu ngikubone ngabantu abebephawula ngokuhlaselwa yizinswelaboya komculi we-gospel, uThinah Zungu, zashaqa impahla yakhe emzini wakhe, eNanda, zimkhombe ngamavolovolo nomndeni wakhe. Izinhlekabayeni lezi kaziyikhulumi nhlobo eyokuthi kumele kutholakale izigebengu, zihleka uThinah. 

    Noma sesingazama ukunabukelisa, ko-dwa kuyacaca ukuthi iningi labantu baseNingizimu Afrika kalehlukile ezilwaneni. Phela kuthiwa inkawu kayenqeni ukuthi uma isijwana (umntwana wayo) edle ufezela, imxukuze, imphalazise wona, iwudle. Ikhonde lemfene kalenqeni ukuthi lithi lihleli nomathananazana abawu-5, kodwa lilwe nomakhelwane onomathananazana owodwa, lifuna ukumthatha lona libe na-6, umbhemu lo omunye asale elambatha. 

    Imibhalo yabantu bakithi – kuyeke nje ukuthi akekho owasemaChunwini kulabo bantu – ebikhombisa ukuhleka umfo kaZu-ngu ngokungenelwa yizigebengu, icacise ngokusobala ukuthi impela sivika iziwula kuleli lizwe. Kukhona nje ovele wabhala ukuthi “Viva MK, uyalunga.”  Kwale noma sebemkhuza abanye, bebuza ukuthi iMK ingenaphi kule nto. Ngelinye ilanga siyozwa sekuthiwa lowo muntu uyikhansela. Ngiyazisa wengilozi yokulunga!

    Abanye bebethi uyalunga ngoba uchoma kakhulu ngomuzi wakhe. Kanti kufanele umuntu achome ngale mizi yenu ezacile – efana nokaRev Mkhekhelezi, iSilo sasemaChunwini – yini bakwethu? Kuyacaca ukuthi abanye benu kabanayo kwayona leyo mizi, bahlala ema-back room asemakubo noma balala namakokoroshe emakhishi. Nijabula kanjani omunye umuntu wakithi omnyama esosizini? 

    Ninomona wechalaha okuthi uma lidla isithelo senjakazi, lize lifune ukubaleka naso, besekusho khona ukuthi imvelo kayivumi. Le nto eniyenzile ingenza ngibone ukuthi njengoba nihlale nithi abelungu ba-yasizonda, abasisukeli, abakwazi ukungasizondi sibe sizondana sodwa ngento ewubala. Akekho umuntu ophusile ongaboni ukuthi uThinah usuke ezincokolela uma echoma ngomuzi wakhe, futhi okungenzeka ukuthi lokho kuyingxenye yendlela yokumaketha i-albhamu yakhe ethi “Indumiso yase-Stezi”. 

    Wukuthi-ke noNkulunkulu uyiMethametician futhi usebenzisa i-long division, uthatha kude ukushaya iziwula. Ukube bengunguNkulunkulu, bengizoke ngiphuthume nje ngithi 1+1=2, ngibasasazele ngezigebengu bonke laba abahleka uThinah, zibaxakazise ubusuku bonke, zishaqe konke abanakho, ngisho nezintuntwane zabo. 

    Ngeke ibumbane i-Afrika uma nisacabanga ngale ndlela bakwethu. Impela iyobumbana ngo-20 leventeen. Futhi nje ngizwa ngithuthumela ukuthi kunabantu abacabanga kanjena abavotayo. Phela kuyacaca ukuthi laba bantu bangavotela ngisho uSathane, uma nje kuwukuthi lo omelene noDeveli ngevoti, kabamthandi. 

    Hheyi ninomona webantu bakithi, umona phansi, jealous down! Kusho ukuthi ngeke siswakwazi ukujabulela impumelelo yethu ngoba nina nizolokhu nisiqaphile, nisifisela ukuthi singenelwe yizigebengu! Ngiyasola nje ukuthi abanye balaba bantu abalokhu bethu uThinah uyalunga, bayayazi le migulukudu emhlaselile.

    Hawu! Abantu baze batshikizise izibhala-kaxa zemisila engangekaxamu, bejabulela usizi olwehlele omunye umuntu omnyama! 

    Sebeyosinda ngoba phela oThinah bayasonta, ukube nje ubeyinsizwa yaseMsinga engasonti, bebeyobonakala ngombala abamendlule impahla yakhe, amachaphazelo aze athele laba abajabulayo ngosizi lwakhe. 

    Bakwethu, ake niyeke umona, sebenzani nani, nakhe izitezi. Siyasho-ke isiZulu sithi: “Umona yifa lezinja.” Angisho-ke phela ukuthi niyizinja nani, kodwa-ke phela uma ikapisi likulingana, ligqoke, kwaziculela uBob Marley iRasta leNkosi lazifela, lithi: ”who the cap fit – let them wear it”. 

    Le ngosi iyi-satire, ungayifundi ngenhliziyo enamatata, izoma.

    Hikhensile ngopfu ma-Afrika! 

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