NGOSIBA LUKA: REV MKHEKHELEZI
SEKUCACILE ukuthi iningi lezikhulu zika-nobhutshuzwayo waseNingizimu Afrika, la-mane langena nje ebholeni lingayenzanga le nto okuthiwa yiliseshi ngokuphathwa kwalo mdlalo. Zizogqobhoka amaphakethe ngale nto yazo yokwenza izinto sengathi yimvukuzane – lokhu abathi yi-mole ngesiNgisi – iphendla indlela emhlabathini. Ngubaba kaJesu kuphela owaziyo ukuthi ziyofunda nini ukuthi lezi zimpuphu zabadlali bakwamanye amazwe ezizisayinisayo zisuke zingezele ukuzodlala ibhola lapha, zisuke zizofuna imali.
Sekukaningi ngifunda, futhi ngibona amakilabhu akuleli edliwa ngamacala kwi-Fifa, kuthiwe mawakhokhele izinkomo za-kwamanye amazwe. Ahluleke wukukhona noma agoloze, besekuthiwa: “Keep on golo-zing, we do not care, kodwa-ke sikuhlawulisa ukuthi ungasayinisi abadlali iminyaka emibili.”
Isisulu sakamuva sale nkinga yiTS Galaxy kaTim Sukazi lo ojwayele ukubonakala egqoke umhelane ofana nowomedemu ba-belungu bango-1818 – unyaka okwavutshe-lwa ngawo iniphu yokuqala yeSmirnoff. Kuthiwa iGalaxy isayinise “isigebengu” sase-Ivory Coast , uBernard Yao Kouassi ngoMasingana (January), okuthe uma sekufanele sithumele amaphepha aso ukuze phela kulungiswe indaba yencwadi esivumela ukuba sisebenze kuleli (work permit), sathumela amaphepha okungewona.
Kuthe uma kubonakala ukuthi kasiveli kwi-system, sacingwa ngisho ngaphansi ko-mbhede kaMengameli wase-Ivory Coast, u-Alassane Ouattara, lutho ukutholakala. Kuze kwavalwa iwindi lokusayinisa aba-dlali. Sithe sisuka, saqhamuka sesithi sifuna ukukhokhelwa u-R1.8 million, singakaze sikhahlele ngisho uthi lukamentshisi lolu. Ugolozileke uSukazi, kodwa yathi iFifa: “Pay baba, pay.” Uyacabanga nje ukube iGalaxy ivele yayofunela umdlali le KwaNongoma, insizwa nje yakwaMncwango, uKhohlweza-khe, ngabe kayibhekene nale nkinga. Ngi-zwile-ke ukuthi uSukazi uthe uzoyikhokha le mali ukuze kuphele isigwebo sokuthi angabasayinisi abadlali.
Phela le nto yesigwebo sokungabasayinisi abadlali, iyakhandlana, anobuza i-crush yami, uShauwn “MaMkhize” Mkhize weRoyal AM. Hhayi phela mina sengayeka ukuba nama-crush abhukuda kwi-poverty njengami. Angithi naye uKhizo wahlawuli-swa emuva kokunqaba ukukhokhela uSa-mir Nurkovic waseSerbia u-R12 million. Naye njalo, usayinisa umuntu kadokotela, angazi ukuthi wayengabuzi ngani kithi esazi izindaba zabantu. Emuva kokuba ese-tholile, wayinqamula inkontileka kaNurko-vic, owanikela kwiFifa, yathi: “Pay Khizo.”
NamaZulu FC ake angena kulo noxhaka emuva kokuba enqamule inkontileka yo-mbhemu waseNamibia, uPhineas Namba-ndi, naye owayengalazi ibhola, agcina emu-kwe amaphuzu awu-6. ILishas Bay FC kaSifiso “Jomo” Biyela, ivika izembe nee, ibhekene nenkinga efanayo. Ihlawuliswe ukungasayinisi abadlali emuva kokunqamula inkontileka ka-Ovella Ochieng waseKenya, ongayenzelanga lutho le kilabhu. UBiyela umchaze njengeqola elinembobo ekhaleni lo mdlali njengoba Ethiopian bavumelana naye ngomoya wesonto ukuba ahambe. Makhathaleni, qham’ thushu u-Ovella, wavela esethi ukweletwa imali. Usho nje usebuya kwiFifa, yathi: “Pay Mjomane, pay Mgazi, otherwise, ungasayinisi ngisho itshe leli.” Naye-ke uBiyela uthe usowukhokha u-R230 000 ka-Ochieng, ukuze akwazi ukusayinisa abadlali. Uthe yize emsola lo mdlali, kodwa lesi sigameko sifane nesifundo kuyena, kufane nokuthi ufunda i-Astronomy age-Afrikaans.
Uyabona-ke iKaizer Chiefs yona, ayibizwa ngamaKhosi for nothing. IngamaKhosi nasekusayiniseni imiswahlwa. Yake yahlawuliswa nayo, kwathiwa ingasayinisi ngisho ingane yekati le, umthinyana, iminyaka emibili emuva kokuba isayinise inkomo yaseMadagascar, u-Andriamirado Andrianarimanana. Kwavela ukuthi amaKhosi asayinise lo mfokazi ngendlela engekho emthethweni. Ngikhuluma nje, ngesizini esanda kuphela, iChiefs kade ifuye omunye ubhatomu oku-thiwa ngu-Efmamjjasond González. Ike yalanda uBonfils-Caleb Bimenyimana le eBurundi, owayekwazi ukukora iphenathi kuphela.
Yakhohliswa kwathiwa lo mfokazi amagoli uwashaya sengathi ngumculi kamaskandi ekhipha ama-albhamu. Phela omaskandi abanqeni ukukhipha i-albhamu ngePhasika, iWorkers’ Day, Youth Day, Women’s Day, birthday kuze kuyoba wuKhisimusi.
Izikhulu zikanobhutshuzwayo maziyeke ukujabulela ukuthi nje zinabadlali bakwamanye amazwe. Kusizani ukuthi unomdlali wangaphandle, kube kukhulunywa ngenkomo ehambe 7,692.1 km isuka eLagos, ifike la iboze sengathi iloyiwe?
Nina-ke balandeli, ngisho ningayongimpimpa kulezi zinkomo, nithi ngigiya ngobunkomo bazo, ngoba vele azisazi isiZulu, no me importa (Spanish)! tsy miraharaha aho (Malagasy), je m’en fiche (French), nie me briga (Serbian), I don’t care, akuthi diki!
Le ngosi iyi-satire, ungayifundi ngenhliziyoegcwele amavununu, uzophathwa yi-high-high!
Hikhensile ngopfu ma-Afrika!
