NGOSIBA LUKA-REV MKHEKHELEZI
NGOKWEMVELO nje, kangiyena umuntu ovame ukugiya ngamaphutha omunye umuntu, kwazise nami nginawami. Phela singabantu, amaphutha ayingxenye yempilo yethu. Ngike ngithi ngibhala ishende nje, u-h avele abhaleke ngenhliziyo. Ngeke kodwa ngicashe ngokuthi phela la ma-computer esiwasebenzisayo a-racist, akusiza ukubheka isipelingi uma ubhala ngesiNgisi kuphela. Kuhle ukuvuma iphutha lakho, lilungiswe, kuqhubeke impilo. Hhayi ukulokhu uchaza undendende sengathi nguthalala wendoda ebanjwe ngumkayo isehlathini nentombi.
Manje ekuseni, bengilalele udaba lwensizwa yase-Eastern Cape, ezibize ngo-Anonimazi.
Ithi le nsizwa – ikhuluma ngesizotha, ungathi akonakele lutho – isinqandamathe sayo sinikwe ingane okungeyona eyaso kwesinye sezibhedlela e-East London, bezwe sebefonelwa kuthiwa mabajike nayo. Bafonelwa nje, ithi bebesendleleni, bengakuKomani – okuyibanga elilinganiselwa ku-187km ukusuka e-East London – bayokhombisa umndeni isipho sikaNkulunkulu.
Ngibhala nje, ingane yabo yangempela, kuthiwa isagobe amadlangala esibhedlela, basebhizi nalezi zinto zoDNA. U-Anonimazi uthi yinye into ayifisayo, wukuthi izisebenzi zezempilo ziqikelele emsebenzini wazo – nami nginaye kulelo, linentshebe. Bafonile nabalaleli, basivithiza isibhedlela ngokwenza iphutha. Kangibasoli nakancane, yize phela nabo benawabo njengami lapho besebenza khona.
Phela leli phutha lesibhedlela libi kakhulu, ikakhulukazi kithina bantu abampisholo. Ngaphandle kwalokho, iphutha yinto oyenza kanye hhayi kawu-17, sengathi wakha i-section yaseMlazi, kwaT. Le nto yokuphambana kwezingane, seyenzeka njalo ezibhedlela zikahulumeni, kuhle kwemibhikisho yomphakathi ewadini ephethwe yikhansela eliyikhansela ngegama nje – abazophinde balivotele futhi okhethweni olulandelayo ngoba phela ngeleqembu labo.
Empeleni kwamina ngiyahhema nje uma ngithi yiphutha le nto eyenziwe yisibhedlela, empeleni wugabagaba lobudedengu. Uyacabanga nje umakoti ethulisa ingane yakhe: “Thula wena Ngomane wami omuhle.” Usho ingane o-anti bakulo muzi asebayiqamba bathi nguManconywanguninakuphela. Izingane zalapha ekhaya ziyibiza ngoKing Kong Mancooo. Ivele ikhale ibe luqanduqandu ingane, ingani isixinwe wubumayemaye, oMsindazwe kwelamathongo bakhuza bayababaza, bathi: “Nang’ umayokazana esethuka, uthi thina sizhaya yo Fubumba Lingula!”
Kokunye nje, ingane yakwaMchunu lapho kuziphilelwa khona ngoNkosi Sikelel’ amaChunu, iphanjaniswe neyakwaMotsepe. Emuva kweminyaka ewu-21, livele iqiniso. Niyacabanga ngqongqoshe wezeMpilo, malum’ uJoe Phahlaa (osesithombeni) nebutho lakho, ukuhlukumezeka lezo zingane ezibhekana nakho?
Yona nje le yakithi esizoya enyuvesi idle ucezu lwebhece, ngoba phela thina siyazipatanisela? Ngiyacela izisebenzi zasezibhedlela ziqikelele emsebenzini wazo, hhayi indaba yokuthi unginika amaphilisi, ngapha ubhizi noWhatsApp sengathi yilab’ sisi bakwaHome Affairs. Umuntu agcine ebhala ukuthi female esikhundleni sika-male. Uthi ufuna umsebenzi kuthiwe: “Kasikaze nje simbone u-female onje, ngabe kungcono ngisho nokuthi kuthiwa uyi-emale, uphakathi nendawo.” Umsebenzi wenu ubucayi, ubaluleke ukudlula yonke ekhona emhlabeni. Mawanciphe amaphutha ezibhedlela, emitholampilo, emaphoyiseni, eMnyangweni wezaseKhaya, ematekisini, kuMasipala weTheku, ngisho nakithi babhali bezindaba. Ungabhali udaba ugovane usulokozela imvilophu e-brown, ugcine ubhale inyovademu. Umuntu enze inyovademu eyodwa kawu-35, kodwa athi yiphutha, ehloniphisa ubudedengu sengathi yigama likayisezala!
Le ngosi iyi-satire, ilungele bonke abantu, kodwa ikakhulukazi laba abasenalokhu okuthiwa yi-sense of humour futhi abacabanga outside the bhokisi.
Hikhensile ngopfu ma-Afrika!
