Kubalulekile ukudlalisana ngaphambi kwenkonzo yasekameleni

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NGUDKT THABILE MTHEMBU

MASIPHINDE sikhulume ngokudlalisana, phecelezi i-foreplay. Iyini i-foreplay? Ngokuqondile, iwukulungiselela inkonzo yasekamelweni kwabathandanayo. Uma sikhuluma ngokulungiselela, kasikhulumi nje kuphela ngemizuzu engaphambi kokuqala inkonzo, kodwa sikhuluma ngokulungiselela umqondo ukuya enkonzweni yasekamelweni. Kuyadabukisa ukuthi abesilisa abaningi kabakuboni kubalulekile lokhu kudlalisana. Uyazi ukuthi ukudlalisana kungenza owakwakho afike kuvuthondaba? 

KUYASIZA UKUSHESHE UYILUNGISELELE INKONZO YASEKAMELWENI

Ukudlalisana kungaqala ekuseni lapho ulungiselela inkonzo yasebusuku. Abaningi bengazibuza ukuthi lokhu kungenzeka kanjani. Uma nivuka noma nilungiselela ukuya emsebenzini nowakwakho, nixoxa, mnunusele ngofisa nikuthokozele kulobo busuku. Akupheleli lapho, kodwa ungase umthinte ngocingo noma ngomyalezo ukuze umbuze ukuthi yena yini ayifisayo kusihlwa uma senihlangana. Lokhu ukwenzela ukulungiselela inkonzo, futhi naye asheshe atshele umqondo ngenizokwenza uma senihlangana. Siyazi ukuthi inkonzo, ikakhulukazi kwabesifazane, idinga ukulungiselelwa ngokomqondo. Uyazi ukuthi ngokusebenzisa la macebo, ungabona nowakwakho eseqala ukululangazela nakakhulu ucansi.

ABESIFAZANE KABALULANGAZELELI UCANSI NJENGABESILISA

Esikhathini esiningi, abesifazane kabalulangazeleli ucansi njengabesilisa ngenxa yokuthi basuke bekhathele. Cabanga nje owesifazane ophuma emsebenzini – kade esebenza imini yonke – efika ekhaya kumele asize izingane ngomsebenzi wesikole, apheke alungiselele nophathina wakhe ukudla. Ucabanga ukuthi lo muntu uma kufikwa ekamelweni uzobe elulangazela ucansi? Lutho. Phela nowakwakho ungumuntu futhi uyakhathala. Zama ukusiza ekhaya, usize izingane zenze umsebenzi wesikole noma yikuphi okunye ongasiza ngakho. 

Lokho kungenza owakwakho akubuke ngeso lesithandwa esikhathalelayo. Kukodwa nje, kungakwenza ubukeke njengendoda ehalisayo emehlweni omuntu wakho Kungamenza afune ukusondelana nawe nakakhulu.

I-FOREPLAY ISIZA OWESIFAZANE UKUTHI ALULUNGELE UCANSI

Khumbula ukulungiselela kubaluleke kakhulu emizuzwaneni ngaphambi kwenkonzo yocansi. Abesifazane bangathatha isikhathi esithe xaxa kunabesilisa ukufika kuvuthondaba, okusho ukuthi isikhathi sokudlalisana kumele sibe side. Khumbula ukuthi kumele ucansi lushibilike. Ukuze lube njalo, sidinga ukuthi abesifazane bakhiqize lo jusi olungiselela isitho sabo sangasese ukuze inkonzo ijabulise kinina nobabili.

SHINTSHA INDLELA OMDLALISA NGAYO UPHATHINA WAKHO

Abesilisa abaningi kabalindi kuze kube nalo jusi ukuze kuqalwe inkonzo, okusho ukuthi abanye besifazane bazithola besocansini olungajabulisi. Khumbula ukuthi ucansi ngeke baluthokozele ngendlela efanayo. Lokho kusho ukuthi kalikho iphutha ekuxoxeni nomuntu wakho ngokuthi yini emjabulisayo. Ngisho ngabe senibe ndawonye iminyaka eminingi, ukuhamba kweminyaka kungashintsha izinto ozithokozelayo, ngenxa yokukhula nokushintsha kwesimo sempilo. 

Uma sikhuluma ngokudlalisana, kasisho ukuthi hlala entweni oyaziyo. Uma ngabe wazi ukuthi uthanda ukuqatshulwa umqala, kakusho ukuthi usuyohlala njalo uhleli kuwona. Zama amanye amasu azomthokozisa, yenza angakulindele, ukuze ezojabula.Uyazi ukuthi owakwakho ungamfikisa kuvuthondaba kaningi ngaphambi kokuba usebenzise ithuluzi lenkonzo? Kuwukuhlakanipha ukwenza lokhu, ikakhulukazi lapho wazi ukuthi uyashesha ukudubula. Kwesinye isikhathi ningadlalisela ngaphandle kokusebenzisa amathuluzi, kodwa ucansi nilujabulele ngendlela emnandi. 

Ngesonto elizayo sizokhuluma ngezindlela ezithile zokudlalisana, ezingasebenza esikhundleni sokwenza ucansi. 

* Uma unesifiso sokusoka, uDkt Thabile Mthembu ukwenza mahhala lokhu kepha kumele ufone kuqala ukubhukha. Usebenzela eBlue Clinic, eMaxwell Centre ngaseCity Hospital, eThekwini. Utholakala enombolweni ethi: 031 309 1832. 

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