Kuyihlazo ukujahwa ngezinkantolo kobaba abangondli

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INSIKA NO: MAKHOSI uNDLELENI uMAZULU

KUYIQINISO elingephikiswe muntu ukuthi ingane inezidingo, ezidinga ukuthi kube nemali ukuze zifezeke. Kuyiqiniso futhi nokuthi omama abakhulisa izingane bebodwa, bathwala kanzima ngakwezezimali, ngoba basuke befuna izingane zabo zikhule zinakekelwe kahle futhi zinakho konke okuyizidingo njengezinye izingane ezinabazali abazinakekela bobabili.

Ngicabanga ukuthi lesi ngesinye sezizathu eziholela ekutheni omama bezingane ezashiywa ngoyise, bazithole sebeyofaka udaba lwabo ezinkantolo ukuze obaba balezi zingane bazondle izingane zabo ngokuyimpoqo yenkantolo. Kuyinto elumelayo khona ukuthi umuntu owaletha ingane emhlabeni agcine esephoqwa yizinkantolo ukuthi ayinakekele ngoba yena engasiboni isidingo salokho. Ngeke ngizazi zonke izizathu eziyimbangela yokuthi obaba bezingane bangazinakekeli izingane ngokwabo nangaphandle kokujahwa ngemuva kuze kusetshenziswe nomthetho, kodwa umuntu ebe azi kahle ukuthi unengane okungumsebenzi wakhe njengobaba ukuthi ayinakekele.

Lapho ngifisa ukugxila khona isekutheni uma obaba bephoqwa yinkantolo ukuthi bakhokhe isondlo sabantwana, lokhu kusho ukuthini ngobudlelwane babo nezingane zabo.
Ingabe lo baba owondliswa umthetho wasenkantolo unaso nje isikhathi asichitha naleyo ngane yakhe kumbe ukuxhumana okunempilo nayo nokuzoyenza le ngane ikhule iziqhenya ngaye, futhi inezimfundiso eziqotho ezithola kuyena njengomzali?. Omunye umbuzo ovukayo ngowokuthi uma lo baba esuke enendaba nengane yakhe futhi esondelene nayo ngendlela okulindeleke ngayo, yisiphi pho isizathu esidala ukuthi kuze kufikwe ezinkantolo kuyokhokhiswana isondlo sengane?

Ngiyakuqonda ukuthi kunezimo ezahlukene ezingaholela ekutheni kugcine sekufakwe nezinkantolo, kodwa kuthanda ukungehli kahle ukuthi umzali kugcine sekungathi kunempoqo yokuthi anakekele izidingo zengane yakhe nokuthi kube nomzali othwala kanzima yedwa ngengane, kodwa ebe wayengekho yedwa ngamhla kuhlwanyelwa imbewu eyilo mntwana.
Lapho lento efike izwise khona ubuhlungu, ukuthi kuyacaca ukuthi obaba abaningi ababunakile ubungozi bokuthi kusho ukuthini enganeni ukukhula ngaphandle kukababa, kodwa ebe ephila khona la ezweni engashonile. Ngifisa ukuthi obaba abafake izingane zabo kulesi simo bakuqonde ukuthi lezi zingane zinemibuzo eminingi ezizibuza yona ngabo futhi le mibuzo yakha izinto ezingezinhle emiqondweni yazo izingane ngabo obaba bazo.

Okubuhlungu ukuthi lezi zinto ezimbi ezakhekayo ziyayilima ingane kakhulu, igcine seyizibona njengomuntu olahliwe futhi uyise ongenandaba naye. Obunye ubuhlungu obokuthi lo buhlungu le ngane enabo buphenduka intukuthelo ejulile futhi emudla yedwa, kodwa lapho iphuma khona ilimaza abantu abaningi. Uma isiphuna le ntukuthelo enganeni, kuvamise ukuthi lo mama wayo obeyithwele yedwa, ewa evuka nayo kube nguyena owokuqala ozoba isisulu sale micabango nentukuthelo egcwele enganeni.

Bengizothi okungenani obaba abangahlali nezingane zabo, nganoma ngabe isiphi isizathu, abazame ukwakha ubudlelwano nazo, babeke ingxabano ephakathi kwabo nonina bezingane, bahambise phambili ukwakheka kwengane nokugwema ukuyilimaza umqondo ngoba akulula ukulungisa nokwelapha umqondo olimele ikakhulukazi olinyazwe ngumzali. Abanye baqhosha ngakho ukuthi bayondla, imali bayayikhipha, kodwa lokho akwanele ngoba ingane iyabadinga bobabili abazali bayo ekukhuleni kwayo, iyadinga ingane ukumazi uyise ihleke naye ikhalele kuye ibe nobudlelwane naye hhayi imali kuphela. Okunye ngifisa abazali bangakwesabi ukuphendula imibuzo ebuzwa yizingane zabo ngezinto ezingahambanga kahle empilweni yayo ngoba lokho kuyayisiza lapho isuke isilimele khona ukuthi ithole ukuphola nokuthi ikwazi ukwakha ubuyona nemvelaphi yayo.

Ngikhuthaza abazali, ikakhulukazi obaba ukuthi bangayithathi kancane indaba yokuxhumana nokusondelana nezingane zabo, ngoba kubalulekile kuyona nasekwakhekeni komqondo nemizwa yayo.

Umakhosi uNdleleni umaZulu
Wesigodlo Insika
Uneziqu ze Masters in Education Leadership Management and Policy
Pschology with interest in Child Development and Parenting services
Wayengu Thishanhloko eMatatane Secondary School
Umbhali nomeluleki ngesintu namakhaya
Utholakala ku: bonamazulu@gmail.com
Ucingo: 076 265 1164

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