Masiluhloniphe ulwandle, sengicishe ngabona inyakanyaka kusa nje

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    NGOSIBA LUKA-REV MKHEKHELEZI

    UREV Mkhekhelezi uvamile ukuthi ngaphambi kokuyobonana nabelungu bakhe, aqale ngokuyoshaywa wumoya olwandle. Nakhu-ke sengicishe ngabona amanyala enyoka – eyakwazi ukugibela emthini ingenazinyawo – kusa nje olwandle lwaseThekwini. Umfokazi thizeni usecishe waphenduka ibhulakfesi loshaka. Inkomane le ibone amagagasi engangendlu yenja, yasho yashona phambili le ithi iyobona ithuna likaMichael Jackson phesheya. Kuthe isihambe cishe u-100m, yazama ukubuya, amagagasi athi: “Never no more turning back, bro!” Kusize hlengethwa lelo (lifeguard), lantininiza liyoyihlenga. Kuthe sebentweza bobabili ngalokhu okusasikejana, lathi igagasi kwawena lifeguard ndini, angikwesabi, labachitha bobabili izinyawo zabheka phezulu!

    Sibonge uNkulunkulu ngokunika i-lifeguard ubuchule namandla, ngoba bagcine betabalasile baphuma. Inkomane ithe iphuma, ngayibona idiyazela okomuntu odakiwe. Angazi noma ibiphuzele ukubukisa olwandle noma ibisidakwe wusawoti wolwandle yini. Khonamanjalo, ngibone inkonkoshelwa ngomunye wesifazane, ejabulela ukuthi isindile. Ngivele ngazicabangela nje ukuthi imambana le ibizama ukudlisa entombini. Phela ngingumuntu nami, kuye kwenzeke nje ngizicabangele imbudane. Ningangibuzi-ke ukuthi kungani bengingalekeleli ukusindisa le nsizwa, phela ukuthi ngingumfundisi akusho ukuthi sengikwazi ukugila izimanga zeNkos’ uJesu, ngikwazi ukuhamba phezu kolwandle. Ngaphandle nje kwalokho, bengifuna ukuthi i-lifeguard ivelele ngomsebenzi wayo.

    Engifisa ukukusho – ikakhulukazi kubafundi beLANGA engibathanda ukudlula cishe yonk’ into – bakwethu, njengoba seliqalile lishisa, abantu beya olwandle ukuyokhipha ukushisa, ngicela niqiniseke ukuthi niyaluhlonipha ulwandle. Nginixwayise-ke, ulwandle kaluzwani neSminorff. Unganklunkli utshwala bese uyongena olwandle, ikakhulukazi ebantwini ababhukuda kolwaseThekwini. Ulwandle lwaseThekwini kalunqeni ukujikijela ama-tentrum njengengane etotoswayo, ethuliswa ngeDanono.

    Ngaphandle kwalokho, phela uMasipala weTheku uvele uyadunguzela, unezinkinga eziningi, ngakho-ke kawuzidingi ezinye. Sekufanele uchaze-ke manje ngesiNgisi koDA no-ActionSA ukuthi umuka nje umuntu, imeya ibilelephi. Nani lapho koSodwana Bay, Lishas Bay, Mthunzini, Mgababa, kuze kuyoshona koSajonisi, hlukanani nembombothelo uma nizoya olwandle. Ngicela nigade nalezi zingane ezithi uma zifika olwandle zithi zifuna ukuyobona unina ka-Aquaman, zizomuka. Ningixolele ngevido efilizelayo, bengime le kude, ngenxa yokuthi imvamisa angithandi ukufakaza into engingayazi, akusikhona ngoba nakhu ngiyigwala.

    Hikhensile ngopfu ma-Afrika!

    Le ngosi bakwethu iyi-satire, ilungele bonke abantu, ikakhulukazi labo abasenalokhu okuthiwa yi-sense of humour futhi abakwazi ukucabanga outside the bhokisi.

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