NGOSIBA LUKA-REV MKHEKHELEZI
NGIBINGELELE kubafundi beLANGA abathandekayo, abahloniphekile nabasesigabeni sokungahlonipheki, kodwa ngamandla oPhezulu, abayohlonipheka ngelinye ilanga. Kuvamile-ke bakwethu ukuthi njengoba singabantu, uma sinqobile noma siphumelele, besesipikla. Esikhundleni sokuthi umuntu ahlabe kunuke usi egcekeni, ejabulela impumelelo emuva kokujuluka umsinsila esebenza kanzima, umubone eyoqhumisa amashampeni kwamakhelwane, umuzwe ethi: “Baphi laba ababethi ngeke ngiphumelele? Abakhulume phela ngizwe!” Izolo i-Orlando Pirates ivikele isicoco sayo seMTN8 ihlula iMamelodi Sundowns sekukhahlelwa amaphenathi – ngiyazi ukuthi nani niyakwazi lokho.
Ngizwa-ke kuthiwa sekunzima ngisho ukugwinya ubhiya kubalandeli beKaizer Chiefs ezindaweni zokucima ukoma. Kuthiwa ithamo nethamo lihambisana namaganyana ayiziswana avela kweziMnyama. Inele ingagwinya nje iMpofana, uzwe ngoMagebhula ethi: “Kuphela-ke, nazi ukunkonxa obhiya nje, amagilo ayehla ayenyuka ngathi adansela isicathamiya, kodwa izindebe do!” Cha maBhakajuju, ake sijabule nje singayifaki iChiefs, phela akuvelwa kanyekanye kungemadlebe embongolo. Uyazi sengiyabazwela abalandeli beChiefs, phela akudlali ukuthi kade nidla kahle kini, niqhumuza oMainstay Cup, oBenson and Hedges Trophy noBP Top8 kuthi uma lezi zindebe sezishintshe amagama, sezidliwa kwamakhelwane, nina nidla izinzipho.
Nayo iMpofana kodwa izogcina ilitholile ithuba iqukule noma okukodwa nje ngelinye ilanga. Angisho phela ukuthi izoqukula kule sizini, ngoba ngeke uyethembe iChiefs. Phela bonke abaqeqeshi abaqashwa kuyona, bafika bethi basahlanganisa. Uyothi esahlanganisa, akhonjwe indlela, afike nomunye azohlanganisa. Manje le nto yenu-ke Mabhakabhaka yokuthi niwine besenigijima niyojabula kwamakhelwane, kayiyinhle neze, nizozidalela ubutha obungenasidingo.
Ngenxa yokuthi angiyona indoda enomona, cha isebenzile i-twefth man yenu le ebingabonakali, ebimaka uPeter Shalule aze azigejele ehamba yedwa njengesishimane.
Phela uShalulile amapali ubewabona e-8m above sea level. Sincome bo nonozinti weBucs, uSipho Chaine. Hheyi wawabamba umfana amaphenathi sengathi uchathwe ngopelepe. Kodwa-ke vumani nani maBhakajuju, iDowns iyalidla ibhola, yize-ke kungasizi ngalutho ukulitapeyita kodwa amagoli aphenduke umakoti ebona uyisezala.
Siyincome nayo iDowns ngokwenza into inhle yokwehlulwa. Phela uRhulani Mokwena besekusele kancane azibize ngojesu wePremier Soccer League oThemba Zwane noToboho Mokoena bengoPhethro no-Andreya. Hheyi phela iyashaya iSundowns, ishaya ngisho isicimezile. NeBucs nje – abalandeli bayo bangofakazi – kayazi ifike kanjani emaphenathini, ngingasayiphathi-ke eyokuwina.
Hhayi ngoba ngichemile, nokho ukuwina kweBucs kungenze ngajabula kancane ngoba phela kusho ukuthi likhona iqembu elikwazi ukumelana neSundowns kwiPSL, hhayi le nto yokuwina kwayo njalo – iwina yonke into – njesiphukuphuku sikatsotsi esiwina njalo kwazise sisuke sigembula sodwa e-backroom.
Kinina Makhosi, Bafana bokuThula Noxolo, bhukulani, akulahlwa mbeleko ngakufelwa. Ngifisa ukuthi i-final yeCarling Black Label Cup idlalwe yini neMoroka Swallows yami, ukuze nani kube khona enikucoshayo, ayiyinhle le nto yokuhlekwa ngomakhelwane zonke izinsuku. OTrevor Noah bazogcina bephelelwa wumsebenzi wokuhlekisa abantu ngoba phela abantu sebaphilela ukuhleka nina. Nani-ke maqembu aKwaMchunu-Natal, ake niyeke le nto yokufana neBafana Bafana evame ukuphelezela amanye amazwe uma kudlalwa i-Afcon, sicela indebe kulesi sifundazwe. Sagcina ukuwina indebe e-serious ngeLamontville Golden Arrows, uMnu Jacob Zuma esayiklume kwesokuba ngumengameli wezwe!
# Le ngosi bakwethu iyilokhu okuthiwa yi-satire, ilungele bonke abantu, kodwa ikakhulukazi labo abasenomuzwa wokuhleka, i-sense of humour ngolwasemzini.
Hikhensile ngopfu ma-Afrika!
