Sengimxolele uMaShihomboli, ngicela nimxolele nani

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    NGOSIBA LUKA-REV MKHEKHELEZI

    INDABA esegudwini kaTsitsi Sheron Chihombori, ogijime waya ezinkundleni zokuxhumana wayivivisa, ebiza abantu bangakubo (Zimbabwe), abaseZambia, eMozambique, e-Ethiopia, Malawi ngisho amaShayina imbala, ethi mababumbane babhekane nathi, ikhomba uhulumeni wethu ngoMdanyana – lo munwe ovele uwumise wodwa uma uthuka inhlamba. Ikhomba ukuthi uma singabhekile, kuyasinyonyobela okwehlela abantu basePalestine. Ngelinye ilanga siyozwa sekuthiwa kunezwe eliwumakhelwane wethu elithi iNingizimu Afrika kwakuyindawo yalo eminyakeni ewu-3 000 edlule. 

    Akagcinanga-ke lapho udadewethu lo, uze wathi: “foetsek!” ebhekise kithi zi-aramu zikababa kaJesu, waqhubeka wathi abantu besifazane baseNingizimu Afrika kabazwani nokusebenza, ovilavoco njengalesi silwane okuthiwa yi-sloth, bazi ukuqhulula izingane nga-5 – sengathi yingulube yohlobo – ngoba benzela ukuthola imali yeqolo! Nokho kuthe uma sesishubile isimo, waqala wathi uyaxolisa, ubedlala, ubenzela ukuthola abalandeli laphaya koTik Tok. Hhayi bo, usukaphi siye khona lo muntu ongazi ukuthi izinto zokudlala zinamasondo? Nokho-ke mina sengimxolele, ngiyacela nani bakwethu nimxolele. Phela emhlabeni nje, lukhona lolu hlobo olunje, olunenkinga ye-wiring. Manje uma ulwa nomuntu onjalo, kuyokhomba ukuthi nawe unenkinga efanayo, umshayeli ushaya ama-wiper kukhanye ama-hazard.

    Le nto kahulumeni wethu yokuvumela bonke oChigumburu noChigombora abangenawo amaphepha kuleli zwe, nansi-ke imiphumela yayo. Kunabantu abacabanga ukuthi kukhona into iNingizimu Afrika ebakweleta yona, manje kufanele bazingenele nje ngokuthanda kuleli lizwe, basuze uma bethanda, sengathi yisebhishi.

    Ngizwile ngandlebenye ukuthi uMaShihomboli lo bamtholile ngoba phela ubesefunwa ngisho nayintuthwane yaseNingizimu Afrika – ngaphandle kukahulumeni – ifuna aphinde amazwi akhe bukhona, live. Iqiniso wukuthi akubona bonke abantu baseZimbabwe, Mozambique noma nje kuliphi izwe lase-Afrika abawuhlupho kuleli, okungasho-ke ukuthi sekumele beze kuleli ngokungemthetho.

    Uma kunomuntu wakwelinye izwe okwazi ukukhuluma kanje ngathi ezweni lethu, izikhulu zikahulumeni zilibale wukuchobana izintwala, kusho ukuthi mhla sabhekana nempi, iyosimboza siphele nya. Yingakho nje kusafanele sibe ne-friendly war noma nje neLesotho, sibone ukuthi amasosha ethu angakwazi yini ukubhekana nempi yangempela. 

    Sicela uhulumeni wethu uyeke ukuba nenkwantshu. Ezweni kuvele kube yikwathelawayeka nje sengathi yizinkomo zikaMkhipheni – lo wedili lodumo – zidedelwa edlelweni! Sekugcwele ngisho oBangladesh, balapha ngokungemthetho. Ngicela ukuthi labo okuthiwa bamtholile uMaShihomboli, bangenzi into ezosihlaza, mabamnikele emaphoyiseni, yize sazi ukuthi nawo anenkwantshu njengomphathi wawo lo othwala umhelane. Bantu bakomalume, eMozambique, ningazifaki nje kule ntimbothi kaMashihomboli, ningaphenduli kwakuphendula. Hhayi ugagamelile bo lo ntombazana, uyazi unesibindi esibhalanse ngezinyongo eziwu-2! Ngiyazi-ke kukhona ezizofunda isihloko, ziphawule zize ziyofika kuMars!

    Le ngosi bakwethi iyi-satire.

    Hikhensile ngopfu ma-Afrika!

    USUNGAQAGELA-KE nawe ukuthi ubethini la.

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