Ziningi izinhlangano ezivumbukayo, zithi zilwa nokuhlukunyezwa kwabesifazane. Uma ubuka lezi zinhlangano, eziningi zazo izinhloso zazo azikho ekusizeni, kodwa zilwa indlala yesisu.
Lokhu kunobungozi obukhulu ngoba kuzokwenza sikujwayele ukuhlukunyezwa kwabesifazane nezingane. Kuzogcina sekufana nezifo ezingamahlalakhona. Kumele sikhumbule ukuthi lesi sihlava sithatha imiphefumulo yabantu, ngakho akumele sisithathe kalula.
Ukuhlukunyezwa akusiyo into esuke ithandwa yilowo ohlukunyezwayo. Isinqumo siphuma kumhlukumezi kuphela.
Akufani nokuthatha izidakamizwa; ukudla izidakamizwa kusuke kuyisinqumo somuntu esigcina sithathe impilo yakhe.
Abahlukumeza, babulale abantu besifazane basuke bethathe isinqumo sokukwenza lokho. Noma singakhuluma ngokulimala kwengqondo, kodwa ilimele injalo, isuke isisithathile isinqumo sokubulala. Noma ngabe uphoxeke kangakanani, asikho isinqumo okufanele sigcine sikwenze wathatha umphefumulo womuntu.
Mhlawumbe uma bewuzivikela, kungezwakala. Imvamisa omama nezingane akubona abantu abakwazi ukuziphindiselela ngodlame. Kulukhuni satshe ukucabanga nokungena engqondweni yomuntu ojatshuliswa wukusebenzisa udlame, aphinde abulale nokubulala.
Ngiye ngizwe kukhulunywa ngezinkabi, okuthiwa ziphila ngokubulala. Ngicabange nje ukuthi kuyaye kuthini uma le nkabi izwa amazwi abantu eyababulala, enkenteza ezindlebeni zayo bekhala, becela uxolo kodwa ingabanaki. Ngicabange nje ukuthi yona iyoqale ithini uma icela uxolo kuMvelingqangi.
Ukuhlukunyezwa kwezingane nabantu besifazane kuhluke kakhulu. Lo muntu okuhlukumezayo, usuke ekuthembise uthando nawe wamemukela, akahlukile kumuntu okuholela ophathe. Abantu besifazane babhekene nokubulawa ndlela zonke. Kunalabo abasuke bebahlosile ngoba bengakwazi ukuzivikela, babagebenge.
Kunalabo ababathembisa uthando, babanike, kanti kabafuni uthando, bafuna imali yabo. Nabo bagcina ngokubulawa. Kunalabo abathandana bengashadile, kodwa benze njengabantu abashadile ngendlela yokwenza izinto. Uma omunye engasathandi, omunye akhale ngokuthi usenikele ngakho konke okwakhe.
Ngaleso sizathu abone omunye efanelwe wukufa. Uma ungambuza ukuthi ubekucelile yini ukuthi unikele ngakho konke onakho, aphendule, athi cha, bekusuka emalangabini othando.
Kunalabo abathandana nabobulili obufana nobabo, nabo bakhona lapho ekuhlukumezaneni, futhi nabo bayabulalana. Kunalabo abahaqwe yizidakamizwa, nabo babuka abantu besifazane njengabantekenteke, bese bekhiphela intukuthelo yabo kubo, bababulale.
Kunalabo abashadile, abangene emshadweni bengakakulungele. Phela umshado, awufani nomathandana, ujulile kunomathandana. Umuntu osuke ushade naye, umbona ubusuku nemini, nsukuzonke.
Kunesikhathi lapho uthando lubuye luphele kwabanye, bese kudingeka ukuzinikela emshadweni (commitment). Uma kungekho ukuzinikela, kuvela isehlukaniso, kwesinye isikhathi ukubulalana. Phela uthando luwumshado kodwa umshado kawusilona uthando. Uyisikhungo esizimele esinemithetho nemigomo yakhona, yingakho abaningi bexakeka uma sebephakathi.
Kulezi zinto engizibalile, uyabona ukuthi uma ukhuluma ngokuhlukunyezwa nokubulawa kwabesifazane nezingane, kunemixhantela eminingi okudinga ibhekisiswe uma wakha uhlelo lokulwa nokubulawa kwabesifazane nezingane (GBV programme). Kufaka ubuthaka bengqondo, kufaka ubugebengu, kufaka nokungakhuliseki ngendlela.
Izinhlelo eziningi njengamanje zilwa nezimpawu (symptoms) zokuhlukunyezwa kwabantu besifazane. NgoZibandlela sizobona izinhlelo eziningi ezilwa nalesi sihlava. Akekho ozibuzayo ukuthi kwenzekeni ezinhlelweni ezixhasiwe kulo mkhankaso.
Phela uma kwenziwa lokhu, kungenza kubelula ukubona ukuthi amaqhinga okulwa nalesi sihlava ayaphumelela noma qha. Lokhu kungaphinde kusinike ithuba lokwenza kangcono kulezi zinhlelo ngokuzayo. Kudingeka imibiko (reports) eshoyo ukuthi lokhu kuphumelele, lokhu akuphumelelanga.
Ukulwa nalesi sihlava kudinga inhlanganisela yezinhlelo nokusebenzisana phakathi kukahulumeni, abamabhizinisi azimele, izinhlangano zemiphakathi nemiphakathi uqobo. Njengamanje, noma ngubani uxebula umkhomo egameni lokuhlukumezeka kwabesifazane nezingane. Akumele imikhankaso yokuhlukunyezwa kwabesifazane nezingane iphenduke indlela yokwenza imali.
- UMnu Callistus Bheki Nkwanyanauneziqu zeMasters in Governance and Political Transformation. Wayengumqondisi: KZN office of the Premier: Community Partnership and Moral Regeneration. Ungumbhali wencwadi ethi: “Talking to Yourself: The Journey to Self-discovery”. Utholakala ku: nkwanyanacb60@gmail.com Ucingo neWhatsApp: 066 544 5466
